This is my fave drink in the world !!!!(my other faves are all flavours of Green Tea and Horlicks) I love this SO much but it does have to be the Pear one (they do winter fruits and some others but this is by far the best!)
Last night, I managed to test out one of my challenges and see how it felt. I'd done a bit of a workout in the afternoon, nothing too much, just felt like I needed to 'wake up' a little so put some good music on and went on the Stationery bike for a bit, shake off the day and all that. So, i'm there cooking dinner, all showered and feeling fresh and looking forward to the meal I was cooking, husband and son had popped to the gym and I thought 'Oooh... I fancy a nice, cold cider over ice'.
Of course, I then set a chain of thought off in my head- the 'should I, shouldn't I' stuff. But I straight away thought back to the post from earlier in the week where I had planned how I could 'enjoy' a drink and how I was going to go about it. So, I got as much ice as I could into my lovely skull shaped, large wine glass, opened a bottle of my lovely cider, which had sat in the fridge for weeks, and poured a glass out.
I sipped it real slow, like I was drinking the holiest, rarest brew on the planet and really TASTED it and savoured it. The 550ml bottle lasted through until after we'd eaten and I loved every sip. Being only 4.5% alcohol I didn't feel whoozy or to the point where I couldn't think clearly, just nicely chilled and refreshed. It also meant that I could still keep my focus on my dinner and eating that without getting my mind all fuzzy due to drinking strong alcohol and totally ruining my meal.
A few thoughts fluttered through my mind about having added extra non-nutritional energy to my overall day and need I have done that but I told myself that it's what I should be able to do, a few times a week, if I enjoy it and that one 550ml fruity cider is NOT excessive or wrong.
The thing is, this is ideally how I would like to be able to enjoy alcohol from now on- as I planned. That way I can still concentrate on getting my proper nutrition with my food AND enjoy my favourite drink without getting too drunk and messing all my good thoughts up in my head.
There is actually deeper issues as regards the 'alcohol + food' interaction but I don't feel ready to write about this yet... I guess I find some of it still very disturbing but for now, I am, once again, proud that I proved to myself I CAN do the things I want/need/like without having to feel guilty or bow down to the ED and feel defeated.