I know i've just posted BUT I've just had a rare BLAST of a revelation feeling come over me.
I left the office to pop over road and get Red Bull- and I sprang out, strided up to 'The crossing'- the cars stopped and I waved 'cheers' to them and carried on walking- I got my favourite coat on (long, black, leather coat- much like a funeral director or vampire might wear), my school shirt (don't laugh), hubby's tie, pin-striped trousers, my hair looks good, I feel bloody great AND then I held the shop door open for a business man who insisted I come through first... I shook my head, kinda winked at him and said 'Sod womens lib!' and he smiled and came through, and I just felt pumped & powerful and happy and then this thought swept over me- that- right now, at this point in my life- I AM happy with things, with my family, the way I look, the effort I'm putting into crushing this ED ,my life as it is. I'm just afraid that things won't stay this way- and maybe that's whats bringing me down...
Maybe it's only me that can make things stay the way they are, so far as I can and I should really give myself a break. I'M content... I'm living a better quality of life than in years! Things are, overall- going good.
I just felt like I needed to add that, especially after the post just before- I told you I have many different thought patterns in a day (Oh, Bi-polar alert)... I think it's important to grab at the positives as well as rant about the negatives! Xx